Something In The Water
by OfDragonsAndDandelions
Summary: Draco, Ron & Harry all arrive at work with something on their minds. Is it coincidence, or is there something in the water?
1. Chapter 1

Draco sauntered into the office, knowing he was late but not giving a flying Hippogriff. That morning he'd found out that his super sperm had indeed gotten his wife pregnant and there wasn't a thing that could wipe the stupid grin he knew he was sporting, off his face, despite the fact that it hadn't actually been something they had planned.

Of course with a sex life like theirs, it was hardly surprising. It was bound to have happened at some point. It's just that they'd rather expected that point to be quite some time in the future.

Stupid grin still on his face, he made his way over to his desk.

He shared the large room with the rest of the Auror team, which comprised of himself, Potter, Weasley, a woman who had been in his year at school named Fay Dunbar, long time Auror Proudfoot Savage, and his boss, Gwain Robbards, who had taken over after the war. As he sat down behind his desk and leant back in his chair, swinging his feet up onto the desk and crossing them at the ankles as he remembered back to the start of it all.

In sixth year, that daft old coffin dodger had discovered he was working on the damnable cabinet under the threat of his mother being tortured to death, and so the old goat had come to the conclusion that the best way forward was to use recruit him to the Order of the Perpetually Dismal Fashion Sense.

It had been rocky at first, to say the least. Potter and Weasley were ready to hex him to next Tuesday if he even so much as breathed in their general direction, and Granger, well she couldn't have narrowed her eyes at him any more with out walking around with them shut all the time.  
Of course it had been up to him to maintain appearances for the sake of his cover, so he'd continued to insult the three of them, along with anyone else that he wanted to in passing.

Then there had been the time he had to go to that dirty old house they insisted on calling 'Headquarters'. He was due to go back to the Manor, but that April the old git had managed to appease his father, via Snape, into his staying at the school for the holiday. He believed that the excuse they had used was that Draco's being at the school over the break would allow him more uninterrupted time fiddling with the cabinet, therefore making him more likely to succeed in the dastardly plan of the Death Eaters.  
In reality, they had whisked him away to that grim old place and he'd quickly resigned himself to the fact that he was stuck there for the next two weeks without anyone, well anyone decent anyway, for company.

Draco did have to admit to himself though, it had turned out not everyone in the bloody Order of Boring Arses was in fact, a boring arse. The first two that had surprised him were his cousins, Sirius Black and Dora Lupin. Sirius was reckless and funny, and while his other cousin, Dora Lupin was also funny, her humour was a different type to that of the older, scruffier man and she was in fact rather clever, despite her having been a Hufflepuff at school.  
For the first few days he had spent the time getting to know his newly met family members, and during that time he had realised that Fred and George Weasley were far brighter than anyone had ever thought. He'd spent the entire fourth day looking through their many, many self invented items and spells, thinking of the best way to implement them against some of the kids at school that he wasn't so fond of.

He had been allocated a room to himself in the shabby, dusty house as no one had volunteered to let him share with them. Not that he minded, it was one thing sharing a roof with these people, but a sleeping space? No, that was too much for him to contemplate.  
It was the fifth morning of his stay and he'd woken up full of knots and tension thanks to the appalling mattress he'd slept on for the last few nights. He had decided that the best thing to do was take a long, hot shower and so he'd thrown off his night clothes and wrapped a towel round his hips.  
And that's when it happened. He was about to open the bathroom door when it disappeared from in front of him and in it's place was a very embarrassed looking female Weasley, herself clad only in an obscenely short towel that she'd wrapped round her surprisingly ample chest. He'd grinned a devious grin and she had gotten all flustered and rushed into the room that she shared with Granger.  
He didn't know what she'd done after that meeting, but he remembered that he'd had the best wank he'd had in a long time, thanks to her, whilst he stood under the hot shower in the rickety old bathroom.

After that encounter he made it his mission to be there, wrapped in only his towel, every morning, just so he could see her as naked as he was ever likely to. He had never expected that she'd be hiding something so delicious and tempting under those shapeless school robes and the sight of her excited him no end.  
Three days later, one week after they had arrived, and the first Saturday morning of the stay, he'd done his usual, having grown quite attached to his 'alone time' with the image of her in his head as he showered. But rather than find her leaving the bathroom as was usual, the door was shut. He stood there for several minutes before realising that it was Saturday and in all likely hood she was sill sleeping in her shared room, so he twisted the door knob and pushed the door open.

The sight that met Draco that morning wasn't what he'd expected. There, under the steaming hot water was Ginny Weasley 'enjoying' herself as she rubbed her free hand over her breasts.  
He'd not been quick enough and he let the door go, causing it to slam shut. The sound of the door closing harshly had startled her. He'd expected her to scream, but she just stood there and watched him as he grinned lewdly at her.  
Of course she'd come to her senses just seconds later and started screeching at him about what he'd seen and telling him to get out. It was a conversation he would never forget.

 _"Malfoy! What the hell are you doing? What did you just see? Get out!"_

"Oh come on now Red, don't be shy, we all do it."

"So that's why you take so long in here every morning!"

"It is Red. And do you know what? It takes me so long because I like to imagine every last inch of you when I do. I like to imagine those long legs wrapped round my waist, I like to imagine the taste of your breasts in my mouth, the feel of your hands running through my hair as you cling to me while I shag you rotten. What do you think of Ginny, when you slide those petite fingers through your silky wetness?"

He remembered how she'd groaned as he finished speaking and in the quietest voice, just loud enough so that he could hear over the running water she replied to him.

 _"You."_

It had taken Draco a matter of seconds to magically lock the door and silence the room before he dropped his towel on the floor and he strode over to the shower, got in and they'd proceeded to shag each other for the next three quarters of an hour, there under the hot water, her silky, wet body against his, the legs he'd imagined wrapped round him clinging onto him for dear life as he moved in and out of her with wild abandon until they both came in ecstasy.  
After that, they'd shagged as much as they could without being caught and he'd been rather glad of that room he had to himself, no matter how uncomfortable the mattress was.

When they returned to Hogwarts at the end of the two weeks, they continued to shag the living daylights out of one another. He'd always make sure that when he insulted her for appearances, he'd be close enough that he could lean down and breathe the words in here ear. Only it just looked like he was insulting her to everyone else when her face would blush bright pink. In reality, he was telling her exactly what he wanted to do to her that evening.  
In return, she took great pleasure in fondling him under the desks of the classes where they had been assigned to sit together. One of those classes was Potions now that Snape was teaching D.A.D.A – how they had gotten away with the cupboard incident they will never know!

Thanks to some hair brained scheme Dumbledore had dreamed up, the two years were to share classes. They had been assigned by Slughorn to be lab partners, of course he'd had a sneaking suspicion that Dumbledore had had something to do with it, most likely thinking that Ginny would keep him under control, after all, her temper was legendary. But all she really did was unravel him. And that one afternoon, they'd been working on a potion and had needed powdered eye of newt, she had gone to fetch it but had taken quite some time returning. Slughorn had noticed and told him to go and help her.  
The sight that greeted him had all the blood rushing from one head, directly to the other. There she was, on her tiptoes, trying to reach the top shelf. Her school shirt sleeves were rolled up and as she reached up, the bottom hem of the shirt rode up to reveal that soft, smooth, milky skin he so loved to run his fingers along. And that was what undid him. He shut the door and charmed it so that it was locked and silenced. They'd had the best ten minute shag of their lives so far, and a further ten minutes later, after they'd smartened up and set the stage of two enemies being locked in a cupboard, they'd lifted the locking charm and the door burst open to reveal a very worried looking potions professor, who had proclaimed that the door was known to get stuck and that they both had his apologies for having to be shut in there for so long.

The only perk of being a marked Death Eater was that everyone in his house knew and everyone in his house was petrified he'd shop them to the nose-less bastard that was trying to ruin the wizarding world, so they'd not uttered a single complaint when he announced he'd be having a room to himself. She had managed to slip into his room undetected and they'd spend entire weekends in there doing amazing things to each other. By the time his deal with the old goat had come round, they had become rather attached to each other. They'd laughed that he, the big, bad, scary Death Eater was as soft hearted as the rest of them, at least where she was concerned.

It had all come to an abrupt end the night Snape killed Dumbledore at the Astronomy tower. That had been his cue to start acting, and start acting bloody well. He could only thank Merlin that the conniving old coot had at least made the Order of the Sacrificial Lambs aware of his stupidity – ok his 'mission'. And he'd had the foresight to tell her what he was going to be doing. The last thing he needed was her getting the wrong end of the stick and deciding his stick was no longer something she wanted to play with, well that and by that point he had to admit he'd have hated to see her hurt, not just because she was a great shag, but because he liked her, really actually _liked_ her.

They'd seen each other that last night, they'd both managed to get away after dinner and escaped unnoticed to his room. They'd started off going at it like nobody's business, but after a good, well mind blowing, half hour, their pace had slowed and that was the first time they had actually made love and it was like nothing he'd ever experienced. Afterwards, he held on to her as she lay in his arms until they knew it was time for him to go. They said their goodbyes and that was that. He didn't see her after that, until before the battle at Hogwarts.

The relief he'd felt when he'd walked into that room in the castle and seen her standing there alive, all be it devated and at the side of her fallen brother, was immense. He hadn't had to think when he stalked forwards and put himself between her and her brother's body, sheilding her from the sight of him.  
Unfortunately all her brothers and both her parents had been there and that's when her friends found out. Not ideal, but at least they knew he was on their side already so they didn't Avada him there and then.

As he hugged her in her grief, he cursed the day he'd fallen for a Weasley. Hugging, that's what had outed them. That and when he'd denounced his father and the nose-less bastard as he took her hand in front of almost the whole school when they saw Harry bloody Potter, The Boy Who They Didn't Think Would Die, dead in the arms of the great hairy oaf that was Hagrid.

As it turned out, Potter wasn't dead, the light side had won despite the heavy loss of life on their side and six months later he found himself starting Auror training alongside a very much alive Young Man Who Seemed To Get Away With Bloody Everything Including His life, and his trusty sidekick, The Slightly Daft Red Headed Guy, and Red was happily ensconced in the office of the Minister for Magic, working as his assistant.

That was four years ago, and it was no secret by then that he and Red were an item, thanks to the non stop coverage of their love life in the Prophet, along with Potter's, and oddly enough, Weasley's.

Potter had married Granger as soon as it was respectable, after the war ended. It had been a turn up for the books because everyone had assumed she had something going on with Ron Weasley. But Potter had told them some story about Weasley running off whilst they were hunting horcruxes. He wasn't clear on the details, but he knew it involved an empty tent, music and dancing, which had had something to do with cheering Granger up, if he recalled correctly.  
Weasley had met a woman who although he wasn't married to, was pretty damned close to asking her. She was a nice girl. Violet he thought she was called, worked in some muggle related department of the Ministry.  
He and female Weasley? Well she wasn't really a Weasley anymore since their lavish wedding three and a half months ago.

He remembered that fondly too. They had held the wedding at the newly opened and incredibly exclusive hotel that belonged to his friend and best man, Blaise Zabini.  
She'd stunned him, and turned him on, as she walked down the aisle in the most figure hugging wedding dress he'd ever seen, clutching a bouquet of blood red calla lillies. The dress clung to her in all the right places, the strapless design showing off her bare shoulders, and the white silk material showing off her perfectly pert breasts and curvaceous arse. He knew she'd chosen white as a bit of a joke between them, because she was anything but virginal! And the way she smelled, oh Merlin it was fantastic! It was liquorice and vanilla and jasmine, and the times it reminded him of! It had taken every ounce of will power he had not to take her there and then.  
As soon as they'd managed to get away from their guests, they'd headed straight for their suite and proceeded exceedingly enthusiastically to consummate their marriage. They'd hardly shut the door and she had his tie off and his shirt undone, by the time they'd reached the gigantic, luxurious bed he'd undone his belt and trousers, as she lay down she shoved his trousers and boxers down to his ankles, as he leaned over her, he shoved her dress up round her waist, not wanting to wait another second. That had been one of the best shags of their relationship. Of course as is the way with these things, her contraceptive potion had been recalled just a couple of weeks earlier and so they were having to be extra sure to use the charm instead, which lasted for a week. Only in the run up to the wedding it appeared that they had forgotten to cast a new charm two days previously and since she had stayed at the Potters for the last two nights it hadn't been of any concern. It was that oversight that had lead to this morning's discovery.

It was the calls from Fay that brought his attention back to the room.

"Hey Malfoy! MALFOY! What's got you in such a great mood this morning? Ginny giving you some extra attention this morning? Must be catching. That pair," she pointed first to Harry, then to Ron, "have been acting weird this morning too. What gives?"

It was no secret amongst his work colleagues that they went at it like rabbits every single chance they got, although he highly suspected that may have had something to do with that time Potter, Weasley and Dunbar had come looking for him just before they'd headed out on a mission, and they'd found him with his trousers and boxers round his ankles, shirt off and standing at the front of his wife's desk, with her laid back on said desk, blouse open, skirt hitched up and her knickers in a small crumpled heap at his feet and him buried balls deep in her. Weasley had tried to deck him When he'd finally left her office and joined them. He supposed that knowing hat they got up to was one thing, but witnessing it maust have been entirely another.

"Nah, even that doesn't give him a grin like _that,_ he's up to something!"

"You know, I think you might be right Harry. Come on then Malfoy, enlighten us."

They hadn't discussed it as such, but he knew that Ginny would accept the fact that he had to tell everyone. She knew him well enough to know he couldn't help himself when he could boast about how fantastic he was.

"If you must know, not only am I married to the sexiest bloody witch alive, my super sperm has impregnated my sexy as hell wife."

He knew his stupid grin had just gotten bigger, and not just because he'd managed to get Ginny pregnant without even trying, but because he loved that sexy, beautiful, brainy, infuriating witch that was now carrying his child.

Before he could respond further however, Faye, the only one in the office that could keep up with the banter between himself and the Not So Dynamic Duo, shouted again.

" Well Malfoy, finally all that practice you two have had at shagging like there's no tomorrow has paid off. Congratulations. What's with your faces Potter? Weasley?"

"No way, you won't believe this! Hermione, she's well, I'm going to be a dad again!"

"Can't say I'm surprised at that either Potter, you two are almost as bad as the Malfoys! So Weasley, what's got you looking so ill? Thought you were over the whole 'Malfoy is shagging your sister and your best mate is shagging your other best mate' thing."

"Bloody hell guys, you'll never believe this."

* * *

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything you recognise from the HP books. They are of course the fine works of J.K Rowling.

 **Authors Notes:** This was a little plot (and I use the word plot fairly loosely) bunny that snuck up on me yesterday. I can't decide if it's a one shot yet or not. I do have half of a next chapter though. So if you want me to keep this going - maybe make it a five or six chapter short, then please review and let me know!

As always, thanks for reading x


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh tell me this is really happening, Tell me you are all in on some messed up, strangely family orientated prank? Merlin on a broom you have got to be kidding me!" 

Draco knew he wasn't fucking about. He'd never told anyone how much he'd wanted to have a kid with Ginny, but he sure as hell wasn't about to joke about it, and he was pretty much certain Potter wasn't arsing about either. He'd made no secret of the fact that he wanted a family with Hermione, and judging by the sickly pale palour of Weasley's face, he wasn't taking the piss either.

"Erm, Violet, she, well, erm yeah.."

Before any of the three men could say a word, Fay had jumped to her feet and started shouting.

"MERLIN'S GREY AND SAGGY Y-FRONTS! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! OH JUST YOU THREE WAIT!"

Draco looked first at Potter who was sporting a silly grin, surprise clear on his face. He suspected his own facial expression wasn't altogether unlike that to be honest. Weasley on the other hand was deathly pale. Out of the three of them he'd probably had the roughest discovery of the morning. Not only had he discovered that his girlfriend Violet was pregnant, but so too were his sister and his friend. He didn't look especially pleased at any of it. Draco knew that Weasley and his girlfriend were serious, but they had no plans for children, the redhead had been pretty vocal on the subject as Potter had waxed lyrical about how much he did want kids. What was it with Weasley and having girlfriends with different versions of pale purple as names anyway?

He also knew that despite the red head's acceptance of his best friends marriage to each other, and marriage to his own marriage to his sister, the news that all three of the main women in his life were now with child was clearly too much, a fact proven was Weasley turned a fetching shade of pale and slid from his chair. The silly tosser had only gone and feinted!

He watched as first Potter, then Fay got up and wandered over to Weasley's out cold body that was now in a heap on the floor. He followed suit and meandered over, his hands shoved into his pockets, and looked down at the white and red heap, then up at Potter and Fay, before the three of them had a bloody good laugh at Weasley's expense before dragging him up and sitting him back on his seat, where they proceeded to revive him with a basic charm.  
Weasley looked around at the three faces and realised where he was, before he spoke.

"Bloody Hell!"

"I have to hand it to you boys, you've surpassed yourselves this time. Congratulations!"

"What the hell of the chances of that?"

"Not a clue Potter, but it's going to be pretty damn creepy if you've only been trying for just a month too."

"No Malfoy, we've been, well, for three months or so."

"And I doubt the witless wonder over there was trying at all judging by his reaction."

"Erm, you could put it like that."

"Wonder how he managed to stuff up the contraception charm. Oh, Oh You have got to be kidding me!"

"What? How do you know what he did Malfoy?"

"Well he spends his time with the two of us and Fay. We're married and so is she. He's done the usual and gotten the wrong end of the stick, or rather given it, as it were."

Draco couldn't suppress the laughter anymore. He felt for the bloke, he did, but merlin this was too funny. Fay had heard the whole conversation too and was getting fed up waiting on Malfoy spilling the beans.

"Malfoy spill."

"Weasley has only gone and paid too much attention to our conversations regarding shagging our better halves and making babies. Hard to believe I know, when could we have ever accused Weasley of paying too much attention?"

"Malfoy! The point?"

"We're all married, so it stands to reason our conversations that have been around the topic of shagging, contraception or lack there of, has always had the man casting the charm. But we're all married..."

Draco stood and waited for the other two to catch on. And there it was, realisation dawned on their faces at the exact same moment.

"Oh Bloody hell, that prat!"

"And her being pureblood, she'll most likely have been brought up quite strictly and been taught that she is only supposed to give it up once she's married, so her parents would never have thought to tell her. If he's told her what we've said then..."

"Exactly. He's been casting the charm, except they aren't married. Every pureblood man, well almost everyone," he eyed the man who sat slightly dazed on the chair, "knows that the charm only works when the man casts it if the couple are married. If they aren't it's her that has to cast it!"

As Draco finished speaking they heard Ron sit up in is chair and mumble.

"Oh bloody hell! She's going to kill me!"

"I'm sure it won't be that bad Ron. Violet's a nice enough girl, I bet that once you both get used to the idea you'll be happy about it."

"Not entirely sure that's going to help him keep his nuts in the mean time Potter. Yours, and mine for that matter would have hexed our bollocks off no question had it been us that had done something so blatantly stupid!"

"Yes well, Ginny and Hermione, they're rather more...more...feisty than Violet. Hopefully she'll just yell at him, maybe chuck him out for the night and then she'll be fine."

Draco had become friends with Potter and Weasley over the years, it had been inevitable really. Their lives were intertwined with his through Ginny, and then they'd trained together before working together. But that didn't mean they didn't enjoy winding each other up on a regular basis. Out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of Weasley leaning forward and groaning as he put his head in his hands and Draco spoke loudly. 

"So I guess congratulations are in order then Potter. Seems we're all going to be welcoming bouncing babies in what, 5 or 6 months time?"

Draco couldn't help but snicker as Potter caught on and replied just as loudly.

"You to Malfoy. Bet the THREE of them will be best of friends."

Ron just groaned loudly again and banged his forehead on the table as Harry and Draco laughed themselves into kinks, shortly followed by Fay.

Eventually they calmed themselves and if they were entirely honest, they were just bloody lucky that it was a quiet Wednesday morning, where the only work they needed to get done was the small amount of non urgent paperwork filed in the 'in' tray beside the large grey filing cabinet on the far wall. It was Harry that managed to stop crying with laughter first.

"Ron mate, we're sorry. It's not funny."

He smiled rather to much and Draco who had only just managed to get himself under control, started again. When he got hold of himself he spoke too.

"Sorry Weasley. We know it's not a laughing matter, not really."

Fay, who had managed to get herself together the same time as Harry had spoken, was the next to apologise.

"Yeah mate, we're sorry. It's not funny. Having a kid, it's a big deal. Look, I know we take the piss out of each other and wind each other up, but we're friends right. This pair, you, you're all going to be Dads in just over six months. That's pretty awesome. Kids aren't for me. Certainly not yet, but you three. You love those women. You love them more than you shag them, and that, to be blunt, is really saying something! Look, lets get this sodding paperwork done, see if we can't convince Robards to let us away early today, and you go talk to Violet. I'm sure she'll come round. If you need us, you know where to find us. You know us. Death Eaters, Mental Merlin want-to-be's, Pregnant Wives and Girlfriends, we've always got each other's backs." 

"Yeah sorry Weasley, but you have to admit it's pretty bloody funny!" Draco was about to laugh again when a thought struck him. "So Potter, Weasley, when did this all happen then? I knew that one straight after the wedding was a damn good shag, one of our best we've agreed, and now we'll have a permanent reminder!"

"Malfoy, please tell me you're taking the piss?"

"Why Potter?"

"Firstly, that's just weird, Ginny is like a sister to me. There's such a thing as too much information! Secondly, you won't believe this, but Hermione is one hundred percent sure that's when it happened for us too. She was the same with James, she said she knew down to the exact, you know, moment."

"Way to go Potter! Must be a woman thing the timing stuff, red said the same thing, said she knew."

Their back slapping, hand shaking celebration was interrupted suddenly.

"You twat Malfoy! Did you put something in the water at that wedding of yours?

"What the hell are you babbling on about Weasley?"

Draco was loosing patience with the bumbling red head. They may be friends now, but that didn't mean the ginger prat didn't get on his nerves on an almost constant basis, especially when he started to ramble about things.

"What in in Salazars name are you banging on about Weasley?"

"Violet says that's when it happened."

Both Draco and Harry looked at Ron in surprise, because really, what were the odds? One in a million? More?

"You are kidding right Ron?"

"No Harry, I'm bloody well not!"

Draco stared at Potter and Weasley as stood in stunned silence, inwardly digesting the news that not only was he about to become a father for the first time, albeit slightly sooner than anticipated, but so were Potter and Weasley. He really didn't know what to think. His wife was going to be pushing a bloody watermelon out of her at the same time Potter and Weasley's other halves were! He was starting to wish he'd put money on this. Bumblemore's Betting would have given him amazing odds on this particular thing occurring!  
But before he could ponder his lack of betting foresight, the unmistakeable laughter punctuated yell of Fay Dunbar rang round the office, shaking all three men out of their surprise induced trance.

"You...have...got to be... fucking kidding me! You three...really are...something else!"

"Very bloody funny Fay."

"You have to admit Weasley, it's got to be piss your pants funny from where Dunbar's standing! In fact, it's pretty much piss your pants funny from where I'm standing too. Even Potter can't fail to miss the humour in this!"

Draco silly, self proud grin still across his face, was now sliding back down the slippery slope of hilarity with his female work colleague. Not even seconds later, Potter came tumbling down after them. It was only when the three of them had recovered their composure once again that he noticed just how pale and worried his brother in law really looked. Before he had to think of something useful to say though, Potter stepped in and he was grateful not to be the one to have to placate Weasley.

"Come on Ron, it's not that bad! I'm sure Violet is just as pleased as Ginny and Hermione are!"

"Bloody hell guys, what if she gets rid of me! I was going to ask her to marry me!"

"Oh well Weasley, look at it this way. You don't have to be so nervous now, she's going to have to say yes because either way she's stuck with you!"

"Malfoy! That's not helping!"

"You're right Potter. Sorry Weasley." 


End file.
